Friday mood

Everybody wants to come out of darkness and want to cherish their life with ease. No one wants to stay in the darkness and carrying pains on shoulders for the rest of your life. It is so obvious these days; we suffer with many suffocating problems either professional or personal. But believe me; I guess many people would go through tough times when it comes to personal experiences. Such as heart breaks, complicated relationships (Not to be mentioned only between couples but also can happen with family), causes of ill-fated friendship etc., the list goes on... But I just feel like I am suffering with these problems

I am tired of losing and trying to gain back something the important part of my life. Past four years I have been losing the course of love, some people left me with no reason and I am just going through miserable condition. And I was really happy that finally I found true love in my life. But this seems to be really horrible than anything. I saw my friends committed happily with their partners and they live in same cities they meet so often, go out to have some fun, going around to watch films, they will have fun at shopping, they go to ice-cream parlour and I feel envy deeply envy of them. Some of my friends who go for date with their boyfriends will invite me too for accompanying them, I feel hesitated because I do not want to ruin their precious time. At that moment, I will miss my boyfriend very much. I get such stupid feeling that I keep blaming my fate that why is my boyfriend is not with me right now? Why is he far away from me? What is the point of having long distance relationship? Trust me, it’s been two years over now and we did not meet not even single day. But nowadays I just hold my breathe tight to my neck. I am getting cry, but cannot even expose my tears in front of anybody. It’s been hard going through this feeling. I thought, am I being too much emotional? But this thought did not lasted for long the moment when I heard my boyfriend also told me that he too feels the same as me and he revealed out his deeper inside of emotion yesterday night this way, "I just wanted to meet you, I really want to meet you, how I wish we were together now". The tears has gushed down with sudden rush of flow and I thought how could God be so cruel? Every single minute, I think this way that "How is he, what is he doing?".

He is struggling really hard to settle down in his life and to give bright future to his families as well. Sometimes he keeps blaming that why is he born poor? What answer do I have for this? I don’t have any solution at all. I wish I could meet him; right now I have the curse from God to remain in darkness of love. Yes! I am still living under darkness of love until I meet him; I cannot be fleeing from the curse. But I know, how much do I mean to him, and he knows how he means to me. So we better understand to each other that are fair enough. Now I really get dreams that I am living in the dark room under cursed black shadow. There is no point of brightness, I can’t catch the glimpse of light, and I can only feel I am just laying down here waiting for my love to come closer to me. I want to make my heart fly breaking the curse of darkness. I was too much indulged into my feelings, and I expressed it through my art form yesterday. It has come out so beautiful that I got beautiful tears in my eyes; I cannot imagine how beautifully my thoughts were travelling. I would love to share with you all by here now; I hope you all would love it too... 

‎"I make my heart free from curse of darkness", this is the concept of my today's art work that I have completed just now... Medium: Dry pastel colors and 7B dark shaded pencils