Everyday I am coming home, with loads of restlessness I am collapsing on bed. I don't want to think, I don't want anyone to disrupt my relaxing time. Sometimes I will wake up late in the morning even though I realize that I have job and I should reach at 9AM in the office, but I wonder why am I getting late to my office hours? I used to have zeal, enthusiasm and spirit. I used to think I am friendly with my students but that's making things much worse.
It's already been 3 months joined as counselor, now been promoted to academic head. My MD thinks I have stuff I can deal with things well. But I am just getting scared thinking that I may be the one who will collapse all the things. Added on that, I have an annoying colleague who happens to be an in charge of that institute sorry name can't be disclosed, but he really irritates me so much. He cannot do work well, even though I have stuff it is so common that sometimes I will fall apart, at that period I want someone who can support me. Unfortunately I have no one except my MD. MD keeps reminding me that I have stuff, I am great and whenever I feel tensed I go and sit in front of him although he loses his patience but I still believe he is the one person who can understand my circumstances pretty well.
Lack of man power is killing me, all the works I cannot handle quiet frankly speaking I even have to call the students, following up old inquiries, inviting them to visit institution, in that process some students lose temper on me or some of them may abuse me . I got pissed, I kept the phone aside, I did not understand what to do... On top of that, students are most annoying sometimes. Some students can't pay fees on time and the reasons are many unsolved. Some students are obedient, some students are very stubborn. Unfortunately I developed a sort of attachment towards them that I am unable to take actions against any student quickly. This is the huge disappointment of course. If I know how to be friendly I should even know how to take actions quickly. I understand being Multimedia student is very tough. We have to have enough budget to pay for expenses like for short films or out door activities.
By analyzing this situation, I got one idea that why cannot I offer deal to students? I discussed with MD and came to conclusion that let us all offer an internship to students which means, students have to work like a team to gather at least 5 members per month to join them in Multimedia course. If they are successful in this attempt, students will get monthly wages. I can't say in detail but I know at least they will earn lump sum amount of money. MD loved this idea and he appointed me to be a coordinator. Now this is a big blow... How can I be coordinator? I don't know how to deal with things... What if something bad happens? What if everything will fall apart? but my MD has complete trust on me that no matter what the result would be, I will be successful. Sometimes his trust gives me tremble. I just carried this information to students and fortunately they responded positively. Now I need to see the results but because of this huge responsibility I am unable to fall asleep.
I am getting nightmares that all the things are collapsed, everyone will cheat on me and I am utterly crushed. It's an adventure to accept challenges. The biggest challenge is to make these students professional. They cannot stay with stability at institute for long hours. Not just for four hours at least. When I was at ICAT, I used to spend 8 hours over there. I am so stupid to compare these people with them. ICAT students are matured. But my students are amateur. How can I make them work? How can I make them to stay for long hours? Thinking about responsibility gives me fear I cannot do no I really cannot do. I cannot be their academic head. If I have to be an academic head I want all my students to cooperate me, to obey me. If not then I will be surely dumping them
It's already been 3 months joined as counselor, now been promoted to academic head. My MD thinks I have stuff I can deal with things well. But I am just getting scared thinking that I may be the one who will collapse all the things. Added on that, I have an annoying colleague who happens to be an in charge of that institute sorry name can't be disclosed, but he really irritates me so much. He cannot do work well, even though I have stuff it is so common that sometimes I will fall apart, at that period I want someone who can support me. Unfortunately I have no one except my MD. MD keeps reminding me that I have stuff, I am great and whenever I feel tensed I go and sit in front of him although he loses his patience but I still believe he is the one person who can understand my circumstances pretty well.
Lack of man power is killing me, all the works I cannot handle quiet frankly speaking I even have to call the students, following up old inquiries, inviting them to visit institution, in that process some students lose temper on me or some of them may abuse me . I got pissed, I kept the phone aside, I did not understand what to do... On top of that, students are most annoying sometimes. Some students can't pay fees on time and the reasons are many unsolved. Some students are obedient, some students are very stubborn. Unfortunately I developed a sort of attachment towards them that I am unable to take actions against any student quickly. This is the huge disappointment of course. If I know how to be friendly I should even know how to take actions quickly. I understand being Multimedia student is very tough. We have to have enough budget to pay for expenses like for short films or out door activities.
By analyzing this situation, I got one idea that why cannot I offer deal to students? I discussed with MD and came to conclusion that let us all offer an internship to students which means, students have to work like a team to gather at least 5 members per month to join them in Multimedia course. If they are successful in this attempt, students will get monthly wages. I can't say in detail but I know at least they will earn lump sum amount of money. MD loved this idea and he appointed me to be a coordinator. Now this is a big blow... How can I be coordinator? I don't know how to deal with things... What if something bad happens? What if everything will fall apart? but my MD has complete trust on me that no matter what the result would be, I will be successful. Sometimes his trust gives me tremble. I just carried this information to students and fortunately they responded positively. Now I need to see the results but because of this huge responsibility I am unable to fall asleep.
I am getting nightmares that all the things are collapsed, everyone will cheat on me and I am utterly crushed. It's an adventure to accept challenges. The biggest challenge is to make these students professional. They cannot stay with stability at institute for long hours. Not just for four hours at least. When I was at ICAT, I used to spend 8 hours over there. I am so stupid to compare these people with them. ICAT students are matured. But my students are amateur. How can I make them work? How can I make them to stay for long hours? Thinking about responsibility gives me fear I cannot do no I really cannot do. I cannot be their academic head. If I have to be an academic head I want all my students to cooperate me, to obey me. If not then I will be surely dumping them
